why?

Why is the world still going on around me and everyone is going on with there day to day business? Doesn't everyone know that my baby, my Jonathan, is dead? I feel like everyone should stop to mourn his loss. There is so much I don't understand right now and I probably never will. So many questions, so few answers. The one answer I do know is God is good. He loves me. He feels my pain. He is holding me. He is holding Jonathan. He is true. He is real. He will heal me. He is sovereign. He is eternal. I do and will love Him and praise Him.

I hurt so much, sometimes I can't breathe. It feels like my breath has been kicked out of me. I will be fine one minute and in an uncontrollable sob the next. The pain comes in spurts, it comes hard, it comes fast, and often. I will get through it. I will praise Him.

My body is numb. My heart is in pieces. I will praise Him.